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Ralph Hawke
"If we aren't able to handle some miserable Templars, we deserve death." Ralph Hawke is a human mage. Born at the end of 9.05 Dragon, in Ferelden, as first son of an apostate, Malcolm Hawke and a Kirkwall noble family's disowned daughter, Leandra Amell. He spent his childhood in Ferelden as an apostate's son, later as an apostate himself, hiding but in relatively safety from the threat of the Circles. He had a sister, Bethany, and a brother, Carver. At 9.27 Malcolm died. At 9.30, when the 5th Blight destroyed the Hawke family's home in Lothering, they went to Kirkwall, where Leandra hoped she will find his brother and settle with her children. Overview Physical Appearance Cold, water-blue eyes, light skin, platinum blonde hair, strong muscular body Personality Aggressive/sarcastic, provocative, protective, prideful and self-righteous. A social illiterate, but overconfident proud blood mage. Despite this, not as bad as seems at first sight. But he loves his fame. He hates showing weakness. Cruelly honest; many times hurts people mostly unintentionally. Shows cruelty, but surprisingly merciful. He's a heavy drinker, and since he failed to protect his mother, almost every day drunk. He can't lose. 'Talents and Skills' Ralph's main talent is naturally the magic, especially blood magic, but knows some other magic schools. He able to heal, but not a strong healer. As an apostate, he's a master of the discreet use of magic but undoubtedly prefers the conflagration. He even talented and experienced with blades and uses his staff as a polearm. Also, he never refuses a good pub brawl and very good at it. Biography History Ralph Hawke walks on his own path and has his own laws, what he follows. Never had a "hero", an "ideal", whom he wanted to follow. About his father, he had controversial feelings. On the one hand, he greatly respected him, on the other hand, he hated Malcolm's tolerance toward their situation. He respected Malcolm's courage and effort to build a good life for his family in this twisted feckin' world, where his kind is a pariah. And he hated that Malcolm didn't say a word against their position, against the Templars, and the whole system, what forced them constant hiding, running. "Just be careful, silent, and learn a lot! Don't make mistake!" ''Ralph wanted to vomit every time when he heard this. He saw Bethany's silent suffer and guilt because she's a "burden", and he blamed his father. And he knew he's unjust. His father did everything to protect them. But Ralph wanted to fight. For himself, for Bethany for every fucking mage in Southern-Thedas, who forced to lick the Templars boots! Ralph hated his father's compromise. He hated every day he lowered his head and retreated without a word. And his anger accumulated. He was 16 when refused the first demon who tempted him. But already he saw his way. He knew he must learn more. Secretly he searched for everything to learn the forbidden knowledge. His father refused this way, considering it's evil, but he's not Malcolm. Blood magic is not evil, just a tool, but a useful one. He knew he walks on a dangerous way, but he already knew, what he wants. He was 18 when he started to use the blood magic. He wanted to fight, but he wasn't a fool. He learned to use Malcolm's strategy of hiding, mixed with his blood magic. He learned to fight without magic, with his bare fist, with knives and swords, and he used his staff as a polearm. Learned to use his anger and pain as power. His every little wound converted to power by blood magic. He wanted to be prepared. '''In-game' After Bethany's death, Hawke family arrived in Kirkwall, Ralph and Caver started to work as mercenary. It was familiar to Ralph. One year passed, and Ralph gained a reputation as mercenary. The next goal was to base their new life in Kirkwall and to restore the family name and property. Varric's offer to join their expedition was a good chance to the start. The expedition succeeded, but not without loss. Carver tainted, and for saving his life, he forced to be a Grey Warden. According to Anders, this was the only way to save his life. Ralph didn't know he will meet his brother again or not, but he was grateful to Anders for the help. He regained his family's nobility, he started to work with Anders for freedom of the Mages. He believes, he found his life goal – this is why he born, and his position and wealth will serve this purpose. He was determined, even the way her mother died could not shake his faith. Hard weeks, alcohol, nightmares, but he remained adamant about his opinion. And Anders stood beside him in these difficult times. After the qunari war, and the Viscount's death, Ralph decided, he will take the vacant throne and prevents Meredith's amok. He assured Orsino he will help and allied with the rebel nobles for launching an open rebellion if needs. Well... Anders' act prevented this – and Ralph was willing to help him. After they freed The Gallow's mages in a hopeless battle, he was proud of the triumphant exile on his lover's side. He decided they will continue their fight, until they free every mage, or die. Post-game Ralph to Varric, somewhere in Ferelden: "So, this Seeker needs a help from a 'maleficarum'? The world really changed! Of course, I'll help. I did let this ... 'magical bogeyman' to run... but if they even try to touch Anders, I'll kill everyone, who involved. And you know, I'm serious" (Somewhere near Weisshaupt) "Anders! Love!" "Ralph?! Thank the Maker! Every night, every day without you... nightmares... I... I thought you died." "Ssss! I'm here for you" Hawke hugged him and kissed passionately. "I'll not leave you alone anymore! Until the day we die, remember?" Anders fiercely and desperately requited the kiss. Relationships "You ask me my recipe for a good relationship? Haha! You kidding me, right? Okay, listen to me! Be honest! But try it gently ... at least try to be not rude... or pay a beer, this can help. And try to resist the temptation! Okay, just try to not hurt anyone." Malcolm Hawke (father – deceased 9:27 Dragon): controversial. On the one hand, he respected him, on the other hand, he hated Malcolm's tolerance toward the Templars, the system. On the other hand, he deeply respected Malcolm's courage and effort to build a good life for his family in this twisted feckin' world, where his kind is a pariah. And he hated that Malcolm didn't say a word against their position, against the Templars, and the whole system, what forced them constant hiding, running. Sometimes Ralph was angry at him and considered his father a coward. Ralph knows he was unjust. In Family Circle The lunch after the Sermon, started quietly, as usual. But when Leandra stood up and went to the kitchen for the roast, Ralph turned to Malcolm and continued their debate. "I was right! They shouldn't speak about us like this!" "Ralph, what happened to you? Cannot do this! You must be careful! Can not attack everyone who says wrong about the mages!" "About us, father! And what happened?! Did you not hear? Did you not see? That fucking bitch frightened Bethany with her damned superstition about us!" "Not again, not now, and… not 'fucking bitch' –", Malcolm tried to hide his proud smile when he looked at his son, and stay rigorous. " 'revered mother' the term you look for... Ralph don't---" "Yes, quieter, they'll hear it... ", Ralph snapped, "Well, just hear it! They must hear it! I don't fear from them, I don't fear anything! Eh, I know... just... you'll go away again, for work, and I'll face Bethany's fears!" "You should too", Malcolm said quietly, "but especially for sake of Bethany, you have to be careful!" Malcolm looked at Bethany, who concentrated on her plate look very busy to spoon the soup. "Do not endanger her! Do not endanger us all! I try to keep us safe, Ralph, and for it, need many compromises, I hope, you'll see too, as soon as is possible. Don't be an idiot, my son, you're smarter like that!" Leandra came in with the food. "...Ralph, I heard, you... and the neighbour girl… Peachy... you tried to kiss her, you not?" "That was not exactly how it happened...she tr..., mom, she's just a friend, nothing more." Malcolm looked at his son, smiling. "That girl is beautiful---" "Yes, Peachy is undoubtedly beautiful...", Ralph smirked. "I wish she would have a brother.", added, and continued, looking on Leandra: : "Don't change the subject, mom", then turned back to Malcolm. "Yes, father, compromises, safety – how much should we swallow yet? Where’s your limit in the tolerance? Anyway, I will not let anyone scare Bethany!" Ralph angrily got up from the table, but Malcolm grasped his arm."And I'll not let you endanger her –us!– with your thoughtlessness, young man!" Bethany spooned the soup in silence. Carver kicked her ankle under the table, but she ignored now... She just wished to disappear. Details of Ralph diary: The Champion of Kirkwall. I love it! It's not about the power... not yet... and I don't mind. I achieved my goal, I do not need to look over my shoulder to see if the Templars follow me. I'm virtually untouchable. This means more than any power! Never ever need to hide, what I'm. In my whole life, I wanted this and I reached. Anders already moved into my mansion. Kirkwall most famous noble is an apostate and openly live with his also apostate lover in the middle of Hightown. Fuck of everyone! "Just be careful, silent!" – No, Father! I never will lower my head anymore! I will never retreat without a word anymore! But I learned a lot. No more compromise! You didn't want mage children because you didn't want such a life for us, what you had. You never showed that, but we knew, we never will be "normal". Bethany died thinking she was a burden, but she wanted to be useful for the last time. I live as a mage, and when I die, I will die as a mage, proudly. And I will fight for the others! I know, I was unjust to you. You raised us safely and we had a good life, but your way is not mine. I don't want to hide anymore, and I don't have to hide anymore! I did it. And I'm sad, you and Mother don't see it. Leandra Amell-Hawke (mother – deceased 9:34 Dragon): filial love, with some controversial feeling. Ralph heard when Leandra was bitter and blamed their situation. He feels, Leandra blames the magic, so she blames Malcolm, Bethany... and him. After Malcolm's death, Ralph sees, Leandra more and more bitter, and has homesick. She spoke about her family, the Amells more and more often. Ralph felt, Leandra blames him and Bethany she can't go back. But these feelings always faded, when Leandra smiled at them. He knew, Leandra sacrificed everything for them, and never regretted that. He didn't blame her for she just wanted a normal life. Just as Bethany. Ralph swore, he will give them safety, as Malcolm did. Or better. Protective relationship (failed). Details of Ralph diary: I'm starting to get used to Mother's accusing gaze. Nevermind. Carver's a big guy, can take care of himself. A torn paper from Ralph diary: It's hard to start. Three weeks... but nightmares do not disappear. Drunken visions, whispering in silence. Mom's dead eyes. Fenris's cold, lifeless hand wakes me up, I open my eyes and look at him... Anders smiling at me: "Do you know, what the strongest force in the universe is? Love", his mouth's sewn up.. Quentin whispers, "I love you. You always made me so proud." Enough! Time to sober up! ––– The nightmares will disappear over time, I know... I hope. In The Hanged Man (Right after Leandra's death) "You... ask for an advice? Haha! Of course! Beer and more beer. This is the solution. And a knife. A sharp one. ... Now you feel offended? Pfft. Happens. Forget it! Don't listen to me. Want a beer? Because I can't get you any 'Life Advice'. Cheers!" Bethany Hawke (sister – deceased 9:30 Dragon): close friendly, protective relationship (failed). Carver Hawke (brother – Grey Warden): brotherly rivalry, protective. Later this brotherly rivalry slowly formed into friendship. https://youtu.be/QRI1fD4ajmU Gamlen's house, Lowtown, before the expedition: "Brother, are you sure? The elf was quite hostile. Seems hates your kind. Do you trust him?" "No. Of course not. I do not trust anyone. But he looks dexterous and strong, useful abilities, aren't?" "No, I suppose, if he uses against you. Do you think I do not know your real cause?" "Shut up! I appreciate you want to protect me, but I'm a mage, remember? A deadly one!" "You are an idiot. But this one at least not an abomination..." "Carver, don't!" "Do you know how dangerous it is? No, you're not, I suppose. I saw how you looked at him... too! Do you want a harem or a team for the expedition?" "We need a healer – I'm not that good at it, and he---" "Is there something you're not goo---?" "Carver! So... he knows the Deep Road. Or were you there already? Do it, if you able to do it better! But as I see, you have nothing against the little cute blood mage... so shut up! And do what I say! Or you stay home to guard Mother's skirt." Details of Ralph diary: Three years passed. The things going well. Carver survived the taint and the ritual, but still an ass and still blames me, and I'm happy. This is my whiny little bastard and seems he feels good. Anders (lover): best friend and true love, the only problem between them the blood magic. It's a hard point in their relationship, but Ralph hopes, he will get used to it – after he tried to deal with the sloth demon in the Fade, and Justice confronted him, and forced to fight him, he decided, he stops to play with demons – at least when Anders/Justice's there... He didn't give up the blood magic fully (he was too proud to do it), but destroyed the last tomes and the altar of Dumat. The temptation was big, but he resisted. After what happened in the secret tunnel, Ralph always tried to strengthen Anders' faith in their fight and about he's not a monster and helped him to handle the situation. Seem it succeeded – Anders and Justice finally learned how they can live together – this is why Ralph was shocked when Anders asked him to help him to separate them with a suspicious Tevinter potion. He tried everything to play for time, supposed, Anders will forget that bullshit. When revealed, that Anders lied – he was disappointed, that he didn't trust him enough, but relieved, he will not risk his life... at least not that silly way. He did not want to lose him. Details of Ralph's diary: This Grey Warden! I've never seen such a beautiful man before! Such a passion! I think I'm in love. But nothing so simple. He came here for his friend, named Karl, he wants to free him from the Circle, and asked me for help... I heard some deep sadness in his voice when he spoke about his friend... or more? Anyway, we'll see. At night we went to the Chantry, where he wanted to meet with Karl. He was there. and we looked at him... a Tranquil. And suddenly Templars came from everywhere. Anders changed. His eyes glowed, Blue light erupted from his skin, his voice was unnatural. Fascinating! We killed the Templars and stepped to Karl. Karl changed too: he spoke as never would be been a Tranquil – whatever happened, Anders did it, or the creature inside him. An "abomination"! But the effect faded, Karl begged for the death, and Anders killed him. We went back to the Darktown. Yes, he's an "abomination", and Karl was his lover. He told everything. I... I don't find the words. But he needs me! Details of Ralph's diary: Perhaps, he's possessed but hates the blood magic. Eh... I just hope he will get used to it. Problems... Details of Ralph's diary: In the Fade the first who we met a sloth demon. It offered a help if I let it possess Feynriel. A dirty deal, unacceptable, but I can exploit without a risk. Of course, I can, I tried and succeed not once to trick demons. Not a big thing. But Justice doesn't allow it, he can't see my intentions. Fuck, he attacked me! Foolish spirit! We forced to defend ourselves. Seems, Fenris too happy with killing Anders/Justice. We should talk about this… Anyway, this isn't our dream, so, I hope Anders' okay. Why do I feel so bad yet? Eh, I hate you, Justice! You won. I don't use that demon anymore, rather I try to save Feynriel without its help. So, I must lead Feynriel to the truth, but he must recognize that himself. Let's try! ––– Seems everyone's okay, aside from some embarrassment. Anders is condescending. I see he's well too, but disappointed. Let's go to calm him, I don't want to lose my chance with him for a stupid misunderstanding! I must explain to him, that this was a trick. I know, he hates blood magic, but that's not so terrible! Just a tool! In fact, a very useful one, and I'm so good at it. I won't give up it for you! Damn you, Anders, not I'm who possessed! (How I hate to apologize!) ––– Anders' sad. But was so easy to convince him, he wanted to believe me. Good. I offered to help him communicate with the voices in his mind – yes, yes, not the best joke... but seems he liked it. Details of Ralph's diary: I woke up late in the morning. My head was still a bit blurry, so I planned a pleasant conversation... Anders... I love him, but I'm confused. Perhaps now I can find out... but he was more nervous than usual. I start to think about that, he's not the best partner to a loose healing chatting... Okay, love, tell me what's wrong with you. He was talking about a crazy Templar, named Otto Alrik, planned to tranquilze every mage in the Circle. Anders perhaps tends to exaggerate, but he seemed serious. Of course, I help him to find any evidence. If he's right, I will kill everyone, who involved in this, if he's not, then I will calm him... I decided not to call anyone else. Anders said that this is the secret tunnel of the Mage Underground, I don't want to risk the secrecy (no mention, that I don't want to involve anyone; this is our task). If we aren't able to deal with some miserable Templars, we deserve death. We found that pervert beast: in companion of his fellow Templars, he abused a young mage girl. Anders tried to hold back Justice but failed. He lost his control, just as in the Chantry, before Karl. Justice was useful in the fight, we killed the Templars, and I promised to Justice, that we'll kill every such dirty Templar, but at the end, the girl committed a serious mistake... she called Justice a demon. Ofc, she did, but I didn't count on Justice's reaction. He attacked that girl. Okay. He confused, I must convince him, that the danger has passed, the girl is not an enemy, and Anders should be back! Fuck! Succeed. He was able to listen to me. But Anders was horrified. He ran away. I have to go after him and calm him down. ––– But before I must escort the girl out of here, and tell her, she must leave Kirkwall. She's not in safe here. In another hand, I do not really want the Knight Commander to hear what's happened here. Fuck Justice, you don't make the things easier for me! Okay, now time to visit Anders! It looks like I've been able to calm down. Thanks the Maker! And Fuck. I already lost Bethany, and almost lost Carver, I don't want to lose him! ––– A few days later I visited him again. We have been unable to talk since the incident. He looked much better. He was grateful for what I did for the mages. He flattered me. I guess I'm lost in his eyes forever. https://youtu.be/0U-qMXK5P7E Anders' handwriting: Those cold eyes how can be so warm? He smiles at me as no one else. No one but Fenris... He just teases me, yes. Better if I don't let to distract myself, yes, don't be foolish! But... I can't! He wants me, just like I want him! I feel. And if not? He slept with Fenris. Stop thinking about him! Just distracts me... but he... he wants to help me. Our opinions, our goals are the same! No. He's a blood mage... he plays with demons... he almost killed me, yes. But he didn't want it... he regretted that... and it was not his fault! Justice... you... I attacked him, he just wanted to trick that demon! And he promised, he will never more... Promised, yes? He's a blood mage. But he helps us with everything, he's a good man! He's not a distraction! I never met someone like him... I never felt similar! It would kill me if I lose him! Details of ralph's diary: Nearby we found the Altar of Dumat. An Old God, and the first Archdemon... Fenris and Anders warned me. But the Altar attracted me, I started the ritual. But one thing missed. I turned around and saw Anders's face. Stop it! Once I turned against him, in the Fade, because tricking that fucking demon was so important. Will not happen anymore! No more flirt with demons! (Okay, I will help Merrill, if she needs, because I promised... but after, no more! At least if he's there... eh, never say never...!) So, I defiled the altar, and I relieved. Everyone relieved. We left the altar. ––– We're close. Anders hears voices. Fenris mocks: "Abominations hear voices, what a surprise!" Fenris, stop that! According to Carver, he can hear Corypheus... great! But what the fuck this shit!? Anders cant handle this alone! I suppose Justice felt his panic... Anders! Don't fight against that! We'll help. "Fenris, Carver! To the shades! I will save him!" "Oh, fuck, don't do it, Justice again... please! You're right, Love?" Details of ralph's diary: We're back from Orlais. Anders doesn't stop to try to convince my dog, he shouldn't sleep in our bed, with no much success! https://youtu.be/ia-Jizf8ALg But he's mostly nervous: still doesn't believe we're safe, so I gave him the key to the old secret passage to his clinic. Calm down, love! No one dares to threaten the Champion of Kirkwall! I try to help him, but I see, he's more and more depressed, and he has reasons. The Knight Commander crushed the Mage Underground. Seems, what for he worked's gone. Sometimes I feel helplessness and it makes me angry. And if this not enough yet, the current problem is: Anders wants to drink some strange Tevinter potion, to separate Justice and him. I know some Tevinter rituals and magic, but I've never heard any potion like that. If this exists, probably a dangerous experiment, true, I'm not an alchemist... (side note: I have to find out!) Anders hiding something, I know. When I question him about it, he tries to avoid my gaze or just joking (I was not really curious to your dream about the naked Grand Cleric, love. I had enough nightmare for a life, and it not over yet...). I don't even understand. Justice didn't cause any trouble in the last three years. If he insists to this, I'm with him, as always. But, the later the better, maybe change his mind... perhaps, once we will find some safe solution. This just weird and risky. And why he doesn't tell me, what's wrong with it? Because there's something, I'm sure. I don't want to lose him! And the ingredients ... who would able to drink such a ... shit ... willingly? Let's give him some time to thinking. (And again: I must find out!!!) Details of Ralph's diary: I found nothing about that "potion", but I can't wait any longer. So, let it be, if you want, Love. We found all shit what he needed, but he still behaved strangely. Finally, he said he needed more help. Of course, he needs, and I will not let him face this problem alone... but... he spoke about some totally different thing. He asked me, to distract the Grand Cleric. I was confused. Why? What does he want? How this related to the "potion"... or wait... there's no potion, and never was. I admit, I relieved. At first: he's not in danger. Thank the Maker, he will not drink any dragonshit to die from it later! At second: this is why I didn't found anything about this strange experiment. So: I'm not that idiot... or wait... he lied to me! Why didn't he trust me enough? Did I not prove enough, I'm with him with all my heart? Suddenly the anger and disappointment flooded me... But... Oh, fuck! I almost left him with his problem... but I was not able to do it. I asked him about his reasons. He tried to convince me, about that we can't fight for the freedom without bloodshed, and I finally understood why he lied. Still, it hurts, but I'm with him. I was disappointed, he wants to do it alone, but I know, he just wants my hand clean, whatever happens. It's not that easy, but I still support him and his plan. Let's the game begin. Perhaps, this is the moment I always waited for. "Then we'll be fugitive together" Fenris: His relationship with Fenris started badly. Of course. But between them worked a inexplicable chemistry. Sometimes Fenris just admired him, just like he admired Fenris. After a hard rivalry formed a strange friendship between them – based on respect and strong sexual attraction. And that night... it happened. After that night, when Fenris talked about his escape and the Fog Warriors, he was confused. He left Fenris' Mansion and went to The Hanged Man, and wanted to forget his feelings toward Fenris. It was late night when he went home, and Fenris waited for him... He didn't want to hurt him, but he was not sure about Anders' feelings. Three years... and nothing happened. He didn't know why. At first, he thought it was Karl... so he didn't force him. Later he was just as confused as Anders. He was (over)confident – but not with the people. He was bad at the relationships and at showing emotions – except the anger. He knew this was a mistake. But he really felt a crush on Fenris. But Fenris left. And Ralph thought, Fenris left, because he's a mage... and thought, this is the better way for both of them. Three years passed when they talked about this, and Ralph finally understood him. There were times, when (except Andrs, ofc.) Fenris was his only friend, and Merril because of the mutual interest. Details of Ralph's diary: Well, the program has changed. I completed my daily limit of the Templars, so Emeric's issues put off. Let's concentrate more pleasant things! For example The Hanged Man, and later Fenris. I need some drink before I visit him, but I'm sure he has better-qualified alcohol than this rat urine. He was drinking, when I arrived. I happily join him, though he was a bit drunk, I was not completely sober either. He talked to me about his escape. He told, that he didn't exactly want to escape, this rather was an accident. He talked about the Fog Warriors, who wanted to protect him from his master, but he killed them all for his master. I suppose I started to understand Orana. And the behaviour of the Circle Mages whom Anders talked about. And I also always wondered, why they don't rebel or just try to escape... Holy fucking shit terrible thing! But I have a friend. Or more? I'm an idiot, I must stop that! I love Anders, and Fenris would never accept me that's for sure! Go back to the Hanged Man! Late night I got home, thoroughly drunken. In the foreground, Fenris was waiting for me. His intent was clear and met with mine. It was only dawn when I woke up. My head was buzzing. Fenris was standing at the fireplace, completely dressed, his sword on his back. Prepared to leave. He talked about his flashing memory fragments, and how confusing it is. He did not let me help him, just apologized (how I am not surprised!), and left. So... It's over. Maybe it's better this way. Details of Ralph's diary: When I arrived in Fenris' Mansion, Aveline was there. She was impatient, Fenris swore as usually. Aveline left, Fenris told, he found his sister and contacted her. His sister will wait for him in The Hanged Man. But he suspects a trap. If this a problem, I'm with him, let's go to find out. I did not call anyone, I did not think I should. Fuck. His sister betrayed Fenris. Danarius smirked, at the stairs and called Fenris "pet". There's nothing between us long ago, perhaps never was, but as this bastard look at him, I flooded with anger "I'm going to wipe that smirk off your face!" That fucking bastard! We almost died. I should develop my defensive abilities, or just miss Anders. Anyway, the magister dead, Fenris ripped out his heart. I'm glad, he's on my side... And he turned on his sister. I felt his anger, but I didn't let him kill her. I did not want him to become his sister's murderer. When he realized, he lost his just found family, I saw the sadness in his eyes, while he desperately scolded the magic. I ensured him, he has friends. He looked at me and said bitterly: "Yes, a mage is my only friend" I have often heard the word "mage" to pronounce with such a disdaining tone. My hands clenched into fists... I succeed to restrain my suddenly erupting anger, and drank a lot. Later, when I already calmed down. I visited him. Varric and Aveline were there. I just heard, he want to stay here, and Varric answered: "The freedom must be a terrible burden, I guess". Eh, Varric... They left, and we started to speak finally. We've been trying to avoid it for three years. (But when will you stop blaming the magic?) Anyway, maybe he's my most loyal friend I ever had. (I'm sorry... for everything!) I went home at dawn. Anders was worried and jealous. I tried to reassure him, there's nothing wrong, I was able to handle the things well, but he didn't believe when saw the scars. I told him, what happened. He was angry I didn't call him, and he started to heal me. We did not talk about the potion, and I was glad for it, if this is what need for it, I will be wounded every day until he doesn't forget that bullshit. Varric Tethras: rivalry. Ralph is impatient and has a rude, strange humour, and doesn't like, that Varric spreads rumours about his private life. Sometimes Varric can't bear his temper. Ralph tries to placate him, but not always succeed. Despite this, they are in a close relationship, almost as with Carver. https://youtu.be/IR5ze78jCV4 Details of Ralph's diary: Inside The Hanged Man Varric told a story to the people. About me. Suddenly he finished and waved. What does he want? He's asking about Anders. "what's-His-Name that mage" he said... and warns me that it's a bad idea to live with a possessed ''mage. Enough, dwarf! My private life's not your story! I angrily left the tavern. Details of Ralph's diary: On a day, on the way of The Hanged Man, I stopped at the trinket vendor to buy something for Anders, when I saw a ring with a dwarf motif. I found it familiar somehow. This isn't Varric's family crest? Probably Varric will appreciate it. --- Well, he did not seem too happy. He's a funny dude but doesn't into my humour. No matter. Often happens. People usually don't get me, but I love their reaction... ''"My father's signet ring" "This belongs to whoever is responsible for House of Tethras. That's you now." "I'm in real danger of forgetting that. Thanks, Hawke, I promise, I'll think of you, whenever I argue pointlessly with some blighter." Fuck... okay, I'll pay him a beer... Details of Ralph's diary: An elf assassin asks me to steal something... But... wait... Varric! Why this elf thinks, I steal things, because people ask me this...? „I may have talked you up a bit. Maybe more than once.” Wonderful. I sighed (I will kill him once...) „What? You’d rather I told everyone you were a mage” Very funny, dwarf... very funny, thank you for reminding me. Merrill: friendship. Merrill's experiment is interesting, and Merrill's lovable: Ralph try to hold back his rude humour if talk with her. Aveline Vallen-Hendyr: rivalry. Ralph can't really forget, that Aveline prevented Carver's joining to the guards, instead of helped him, and even thinks, that Aveline has some weird ideas about the law, order and justice. Their relationship is weird, but they both know they can count on each other. https://youtu.be/qt3SPkORKCQ https://youtu.be/w3nYEqEwJSI https://youtu.be/aOW4OEmt8i4 Details of Ralph's diary: The first day after mother's death, what I did not start in The Hanged Man. I went to Aveline, maybe she has any work what can help to forget. But she just helped to remember to my loss and failure. She wanted to speak about. Smile on my face, why not enough this to her? "What is it about the death, that brings out the speeches", I answered, and went away. "Don't lose your friends too, Hawke", I heard... Eh, I don't think, she deserved my sarcasm. Yet I need a mug of that rat urine. The Hanged Man. Again. Isabela: Ralph tried to convince her, that she shouldn't let blackmail herself by this bastard, he would be happy to help to kill him instead, but Isabela didn't listen to him. She left him. Details od Ralph's diary: "You've already faced him. Do not let yourself be blackmailed!" Sebastian: rivalry/neutral Details of Ralph's diary: Sebastian seemed vulnerable. He told, that the demon was right about his feeling. I assured him again, that he will be a good ruler. Anyway, he's not that boring choirboy, what it seems for the first sight. Not even harmless. I saw in his eyes. End result: "Fuck of, Sebastian!" Miscellaneous Ralph's weakness is the alcohol, the proper communication (he sometimes very rude, and not intentionally hurt also his friends too), anger and pride. Ralph has many fears... from cowardice, from showing weakness, from loss – and he failed to protect Bethany, almost Carver, and Leandra. Once, he ran away from two teens, he was just eight – but he never forgets he was not able to face them. He knows that would have been foolish, but the emotions rarely logical (later they died... accidentally – when attacked him again, his magic manifested, but he still feels that hopelessness that he felt at first, and second...). He's not that bloodthirsty – but he loves his fame. Sometimes he's surprisingly merciful. He doesn't let Fenris kill Varania, and while he knew, to kill Bartrand would a better solution, but he was not able to do it after Leandra's death. And Gascard DuPuis... he just let him go. And didn't care about. He didn't feel a desire for revenge – Gascard's death will not bring back Leandra. (He surprised, when he got a letter from Gascard.) Of course, he killed many, and he is able to live with their blood on his hand: the Templars, who pursued Feynriel for example., and many others. He tried to handle his relationships better with the times. He often was rough to his friends, hurts them unintentionally. But at the end, his relationship improved with his friends and Carver too. (Sadly, he lost Isabela.) __ 9.41 Dragon – Herald Rest, Skyhold: "Thin little boy with a puppy. They are coming! I'm not afraid. Never! Nevermore! I will not run away! I will not give him to you! You will not hurt him!" – "Shut up!" "I was a coward, COWARD! I ran, he suffered. ... COWARD!" – "Shut the fucking up!" "But. I'm. No. Longer. A COWARD! I'll face you! Just come here! ... Anger. Heat. Red. Take it! Heat. My hands are flaming! How? They're flaming! Screams! Gone. Peace. They will not hurt you anymore! I will not run anymore. I am strong." – "It was an accident..." "I know... Mother cries. Why are you crying? Try to hug her. She turns away. Her face... sad. Cold." – "She blamed me..." "As always, yes?" Father coming. Angry? No... It's... different... I don't understand. I did nothing wrong... they wanted to hurt him! Again! I couldn't... let... them! Tears. I don't cry! I..." – "What do you want, spirit?" "I want to help... it still hurt you. You're not coward. Not murderer. They're gone... but..." "Yes, not my fault. Nothing's my fault. Now leave me, I want to drink my beer. ALONE!" ... "Spirit! Cole! Wait..." ... Fuck..." *** His jug has been emptied. „One more... or two!” yelled. Memories drifted into his brain. Again. 9.14 – A farm, near to Redcliffe, Ferelden It's been a long time since. He didn't tell anyone. Sometimes they caught him, beaten him, took away his coins – it was not so hard. They were two, and much stronger than him. They threatened him, they'll catch his mabari. He once saw what they did to a cat. And he ran away and hid when he saw them. And he felt deep shame. He did not want his father to see his fear, so just went to "play" as usual, but avoided the place where he met them. He felt like a coward. He was sitting under a tree and the puppy ran around him. He fell asleep and dreamed. In his dream, he was big and strong – like the heroes, in Mother's tales. They begged for their lives... Suddenly he woke up and saw them – his dog in their hands, disgusting smile on their face. He was terribly afraid but stood up. He can't let again! He must face them! Suddenly he felt like in his dream. He felt, he to have grown. His eyes were feverish, his hands flared up. He stepped toward them, no longer felt fear. The guys stopped, the dog was released, jumped down, and looking for shelter at his feet. "You will not hurt anymore! You will not hurt anyone anymore!", hissed. His fury exploded, burning the guys. They burned like a torch, their scream was terrible. Then everything suddenly became silent. It's over. He was strong. Invincible. Like in his dream! *** Mother and Father approached. "You see, I'm strong, can protect myself!" He ran to her, and tried to hug her – but Mother turned around. "Mom, why do you cry? No problem...", It was something he had not seen before in her eyes. Fear. Coldness. "I've defended ourselves", he explained to Father. But Malcolm was not proud. And he was not angry. That was different. It was sad. "Do not be angry! I did..." A tear rolled over his face. No. He's not crying. He's strong. "Come on, boy, we'll go home. Everything will be okay", Father said. But his stomach clenched. And he didn't know, why. "What happened to me?" "Do not be afraid! You are a mage just like me." "But you do not live in the Tower you live with us ... I know, the mages live in the Tower. Are you a Mali...ficiarum?", whispered. "You did not hurt anyone! Am I a Malificiarum?", shuddered. "I'm not a Maleficarum, you either. You're my son and a mage. Where did you hear that word? "When we were in Chantry. An old woman said. It sounded bad. I was glad I'm not ... like that... But you did not do that like me... your hand never flared." "You shouldn't do it either. You have to learn to hide it. You're my smart son. You know what they say about those who have the Gift." "But what kind of Gift is this, if I can not use it?" He asked disappointedly. "You can use it. I'll teach you how. But you have to learn *not* to use it. You have to learn to defend yourself without it. You do not want it to happen again. " "No," he said, and lowered his head. He was not entirely honest. The next day they collected their belongings and moved away. ___ Quick questions: Single or taken: My privacy is not your business Crushing on anyone: I will crush you if don't stop snooping around my privacy Mages or Templars: I'm a mage, you fool Last drink: Anders' weird mixture against the hangover. Disgusting but effective. And some buckets of water. Makeup or no: Bloodstains Cat or dog: Mabari Evil or good: Good –in fact the best!– at killing people and helping people, at drinking and in the bed Weird or normal: weirdly normal, normally weird Do you have haters: I hope, I have Funny or nahh: If killing is funny, I', the funniest man in Kirkwall. Ferelden or Orlais: I was in Orlais once. It's a pretty good hunting place, the preys wears funny coloured clown-pants. My mabari loves them! Of course, Ferelden, you asshole. The shit, covered by perfume, still shit... and even more stinking. Smart or dumb: Don't try me! 'Links' Ralph, Anders and a mage kid Ralph's past – It started as a work, and a little affair in Highever (not finished) Ralph Hawke on Tumblr Ralph's diary and story (not finished) Gallery Red-Hawke-romantic.png Ralph-Anders.png 2017-06-01_01h23_20.png Ralph-Hawke-aged.png tumblr_ow3fa54Bor1v3d37co1_1280.png|If we aren't able to handle some miserable Templars, we deserve death. tumblr_ow27oarHD01v3d37co3_1280.jpg|Don't tell me, show me! tumblr_oxj7z3Fhtk1v3d37co1_1280.jpg tumblr_p2xjgxzCY21v3d37co1_1280.jpg tumblr_p3adkbu7M61v3d37co2_1280.jpg tumblr_p2z6xf1Fag1v3d37co6_1280.jpg tumblr_p02tz1GlOc1v3d37co4_1280.jpg tumblr_ozv5ozNxAp1v3d37co2_1280.jpg Screenshot20180419125508266.jpg Screenshot20180419191024670.jpg Screenshot20180420020630518.jpg Screenshot20180420020632925.jpg Screenshot20180420021355210.jpg tumblr_pengeoamHp1v3d37co1_1280.png Category:Mage Category:Blood Mage Category:Force Mage Category:Hawke Category:Human Category:CaiusGermanicus Category:Anders Romance